So, I realized that I have been extremely neglectful of my blog lately, things like school, finals, drama, etc. got in the way. But now I have no other excuse other than laziness which...doesn't count. Even though I would like to, I don't really have any defining moments that have hit me recently to blog about. Instead I guess I'll write a quick update and the random things that have been in my head lately?
There several things that have really been bothering me lately. The first one is that people keep jumping on all of the natural disasters in the U.S. as an excuse to hate on God. NOT.COOL.FRIENDS. It makes me sad that people are so quick to blame and hate God. I wish that people would take the time to try to understand him and get to know him first before they went on their angry tirades. I understand that life is hard, scary, and frustrating. There are things out there that we don't understand and there are things that are horrible. However, people always seem to neglect the fact that people...and this word...are given FREE WILL. Those are two short words, but they seem extremely complicated to comprehend for a lot of people. When bad things happen, or when people do bad things, it is not God...it is us. Exercising said free will. And God does perform miracles, but if he ALWAYS performed miracles, there would be no suffering, no learning, faith or strength. Furthermore, there would be no point to heaven, because we would already be in it. I don't know, I think people need to realize that many problems are caused by us and us alone, God is not the cause of everything bad. Also random but...why don't people blame Satan more often? Why is he never mentioned in blame? Hmmmm just a thought.
Another thing that is bothering me.....IMMATURITY. I absolutely can not stand it!!! Oh, and drama. I know that as humans, we can't avoid drama. Everyone is guilty of causing it or participating in it. We are curious, mischevious, and vengeful to some degree. However, aside from the typical drama every person engages in...there is a select breed of people who thrive off of it and cause more for entertainment. Those people are killing me lately. My ex who told me he strongly disliked me and could never forgive me decides to trash talk me from time to time over the internet. His catty friend and her boyfriend also tend to join the mock fest. They actually head it up more than he does! He just laughs at what they do and say. I have not talked to the kid in a while, if I did it was to apologize for acting rash and insulting him uneccesarily which, was a boo boo made in a time of weakness...but other than that, I haven't really done anything that I can think of. But, for some reason, I am public enemy number one still...weird. I don't get it. Why can't we all just let this whole mess go, be civil, and MOVE FORWARD. Luckily I have learned to stay away and not try to change things in such situations. I know not to fuel the fire. But still....REALLY???
One last thing that is irking me...I am so unmotivated lately!!! To do anything! I just don't feel like getting out of bed or doing anything. It is a constant battle to make myself go out and run errands or clean. I have a bad case of the lazies!!! It is no bueno. I need to pray about it and get my lazy butt up and be a valuable member of society! I can't do this all summer...I will hate myself so much lol!
Ok, now that the negative business is over, time for the fun, exciting stuff! I am home for the summer, and I am trying to find a job working with kids, and if I get it...It will be awesome! I miss working with kids a lot! Also, I am starting to cook again and play my guitar and ukulele. My creative jucies will be flowing at full speed in the not too distant future. I love being home and being able to relax, it feels like I didn't get to for almost a whole year! Luckily the working hard payed off and I made the Dean's list and got a scolarship. Hard work pays off, but it still is nice to get away from. I need to remember this though, because I need to remember not to waste my free time. I need to explore my passions and take opportunities I didn't have time for earlier in the year. Woot! I'm excited!
One last thought, I miss Cru! I was having such a good time getting to know people that love Christ as much as I do if not more. I can't wait to come back to it! I also can't wait to join M29 so that I can spread God's love and his word. That being said, I know I need to work hard not to fall back into my old patterns! I need to keep making progress on my journey to being a good person, and making my heavenly father proud. I have slipped up a little already, I have been faced with some temptations that I did not foresee...but I have been strong in others that I had predicted. The walk with Christ is a learning process, and I am learning so much and still have soooooooo much to learn...but no matter what it is rewarding. I need to wake up and keep making him proud.
