So, lately I have been feeling a little down. I feel lonely. In a way that is a good thing, because it means that I am feeling better and healed, I'm more open to the idea of getting to know someone again. It is also bad because it makes me vulnerable and it could lead me into trouble if I am not careful. This is the time that I need to keep focusing on my relationship with God. There is a hole that needs to be filled, but it is one that can't be filled by some guy. I also feel like I am behind somehow. So many people around me seem to be getting married, or have at least found the person that they will eventually marry. It makes me feel like I am running out of time sometimes. I don't want to be in a serious relationship right now...not at all. But it will still be nice to at least know the guy that will eventually fall in love with me, real love, not just infatuation like I am used to. All of that being said, I have a sort of mantra, or note to read whenever I am feeling lonely, or just thinking about settling for something less than I deserve. I think every woman should write something like this to themselves when they are feeling alone, weak, worthless, or just unattractive in some way.
One day someone will absolutely ADORE you. Someone will respect you and think of you as their equal. They will find your opinions and thoughts valuable and interesting. One day someone will make you laugh. Not just the polite giggle kind, but the head back, shaking with laughter kind. Not only will they do this, but they will do it often. One day someone will see you smile, and their face will light up as much as yours if not more. Someone will get your sense of humor, and they will make your jokes and playing even more fun. One day someone will do things that you love. They will be able to twirl you around on the dance floor, or play guitar. Maybe they will just be really good at hugging. It doesn't matter, whoever "they" are, they will do something that brings you great joy. One day, someone will SEE you. They will see your good qualities and your bad and they will accept all of them. Someone will help you grow as a person, but they will also let you help them to grow. Someone will go through fights and challenges with you, but they will still find you worth it after the altercations are over. They will compromise and understand. One day someone will find you absolutely beautiful. Imagine one of those days where you look in the mirror and see your beauty...now multiply that by 10 and that is how your true love will see you. One day someone will see you in the morning, hair in a mess, makeup smeared, and they will still smile because they are glad to have you by their side as soon as they wake up. One day someone will let you steel the covers, and no matter how often you do it they won't get angry. They might get their own blanket however :P. One day someone will be there for you. When life has torn you down and you can't take another step, they will hold your hand and not only tell you that things will work out, but they will enable you, give you tough love and kick your butt out of bed and back to the real world. One day someone will not only help you, but they will turn you towards God in your time of need. They will pray with you and or you. One day someone will get to know you, and they will realize that they want you in their life forever. One day, someone will see you walking down the aisle, and they will cry tears of joy, because one day, much earlier, they knew you were the one.
I know this is not the ideal for everyone, and it is probably ridiculous and extravagant to many. Either way, I believe I will receive this one day, or something close to it. This should be a constant reminder to me that I should not settle for anything less. If I meet someone and they will never have some of my fundamental beliefs or "requirements", I need to walk away. Or if someone already doesn't do some of the important things like, respect me or appreciate me, I need to walk away too. The fundamental concepts in this note are those of love, respect, commitment, and kindness. All of which God already has towards all of us. So, in the end, I already have what I NEED. The only thing left is to meet the person who will join me in my relationship with God, and also the person who will take me two stepping and twirl me around the dance floor all night. :P. I'm good, I'm covered. And if I stay patient and just focus on me and God...he will provide. I will get something that I have never had before and it will be just as beautiful as the "One Day" speech I gave myself.
BOTTOM LINE: I'm not behind, I'm in no hurry, everything will work out as it should, and NO MORE SETTLING. Ever.
also....BE POSITIVE. Focus on the important things, everything else tends to follow.
...lol the end.
