I Am Woman...

 So lately I have been feeling really strong, and empowered. I was going through a rough patch for a while, dealing with silly drama and feeling all low and sad about things that were out of my control. Even though at first I had thought that I had lost myself only recently, it turns out I lost myself last semester. I was only a shadow of myself the first semester of the year. I could blame it on all sort of things, an unhealthy relationship, insecurity, being in a new place, etc. etc. But no matter what, somewhere in there I lost me. I lost the bubbly, outgoing, ditzy, silly, caring, active person that I have grown to be. Now that I have overcome my current obstacles, and now that I have re-discovered the beauty of Christ, I.AM.BACK. And stronger than ever :).

For my entire dating career I have felt like I was not desirable or that something was wrong with me if I was single. A guy not pursuing me after I made myself known meant something was "wrong" with me. And I am really discovering that until now, I was not fully comfortable in my own skin. I was still relying on others to define my worth. But now I realize that there is a sense of pride and confidence in being a single woman. I have power that I didn't before. The only person who defines me is God, and myself. And now that I am only relying on him and me, I feel pretty darn good about me. I finally feel pretty, smart, a good person to be around. I am not asking someone to tell me all of these things or to "prove" that I am all of these things. I am finally satisfied with myself. Something I have always strived for, and have even lied to myself about from time to time. But I finally made it. I am finally a strong woman of God, ready to serve my purpose and to give to those who really NEED me, I.E. my future students and the children I plan to volunteer with. I can finally say with full confidence, that I don't care whether or not guys are trying to be with me or not. I can finally be selective and decice that if they don't love Christ as much as I do or more, then they can just stay in the "friend zone". I won't settle for something that God doesn't want for me in the first place.

I am finally ready to be a vibrant, self sufficient, happy me. It took forever for me to get it, and I'll still struggle, but I really feel like I am well on my way to becoming the woman that I have always wanted to be or admired in other people. I thank God for his amazingness, and all of the beautiful people who helped me get here <3.
 

This is one of my favorite songs ever, it is by Helen Reddy and it is called I am Woman...lol it is pretty fitting and it always makes me feel good about myself when I am feeling on the weak side.

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

CHORUS
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

CHORUS

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong

FADE
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman