So, one of the things that I have always struggled with is forgiveness. I am good at getting angry, and I am even better at holding grudges.Its in my genes. Anger has its uses at times, like when I am defending someone who can't defend themselves, or when I need that extra push to run the next few yards or to finish an assignment, but in general, it is no good. It eats at my heart and distances me from God. It also just holds me back from living my life! I have struggled with anger towards my mother for years, and anger towards my ex for weeks. But after watching a video that I just happened to stumble upon yesterday, and after talking with people, praying, and thinking, I have finally come to the conclusion that forgiving is the way to go. So far I haven't has anything bad come from this forgiveness thing. Quite the opposite actually!
NOW, to the misconception part.....I think that too many people in this world refuse to forgive people because they are waiting on an apology........let that sink in. Think about it, how many times have you said to yourself that you "forgive" someone, if they _________. Ususally, the blank is filled with some form of apology or repentance. But lets be realistic, if someone wronged you, and they know it, they are either afraid you will be angry if they say something, or they are proud themselves. Either way, nothing is moving forward until you are the bigger person. I think that the idea of apology, then forgiveness, is actually reversed. Is it right? No. Is it fair? Absolutely not. But, life isn't fair. Time to be big kids and accept it. I think the biggest example of the forgive then apologize pattern is Christ. Think about it......if God had not sent us his son to forgive us, do you think we would be as comfortable with asking for forgiveness? No way. If God was still old testament.......we would be terrified to ask him to forgive us, especially when we as humans, mess up soooooooo much. But now that Christ is in the picture, now that God has already said "I forgive you", we feel safe, and if we believe we apologize to God very often. I think the same should go with people. I think it is very Christian to forgive before someone apologizes. And what if we do this, and someone never does apologize??????? What about that?.......My answer to that is this: It doesn't matter. They have to live with that choice and guilt. But as the forgiver, you don't have to live with anything. Forgiveness has set you free.
Another thing that really hit me yesterday...we need to forgive ourselves. I needed to forgive myself for a long list of things I had done wrong. And before yesterday, my guilt was holding me back from God, and from peace. I felt like I was not worthy of forgiveness because once upon a time I gave too much to some and too little to others...I hurt myself, I did so many things that God would not have liked. I couldn't believe that he could actually forgive me for everything. But, he already has. He did as soon as it happened and as soon as I apologized after. I realize that now, and now I am so much happier and closer to him. So for anyone who is struggling with their past......................FORGET IT. It is done. It is over, it is NEVER coming back. It is actually an insult to God if you dwell on the past so much that you don't move forward and embrace the present and your future. So do yourself a favor, say, "God, I am sorry, please forgive me for _____". And guess what? You are done. Congratulations you are free and clear, you are made new. You officialy have a fresh start and you are loved! Loved to a degree that you will never understand.
BOTTOM LINE: Forgiveness is key to happiness. God forgives you, you forgive others. It is a wonderful cycle. If Christ can forgive us for past sins, for the hell he went through....we can forgive others for being human. For hurting our feelings, etc. etc. I dare you to think of at least one person you are holding a grudge towards, think about what they did, and think about how human they are. How, maybe they have their own issues to work out. Think about how even if they hurt you, they maybe made you stronger, or taught you what not to do. Everything has a purpose, everyone has a purpose. Let their assault on you go, let them KNOW they are ok! They are forgiven in your book. Who knows...they may even apologize. If not, you are officialy being Christlike, which is better than any apology anyway.
Here is the video that really inspired this/got things moving along:
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=J1MC91NU
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