Content in Christ

So, today I went to "Mug and Muffin" (A bible study/fellowship type thing with some lovely ladies from CRU). And, although I expected it to be a nice experience, I did not expect it to be as enriching and perfect for my current state of mind as it was. Needless to say, God wanted me to be there and he got a very good message that he has been trying to get to me for a little while now. It is truly amazing how much God will tell us, if we just focus on him and pay attention. I totally felt him today and it was awesome :).

So, to get to the main point of this post, the things that I got from today are as follows:

I realized today that even though I had previously thought that I was content, and focusing on my relationship with God and God only, I have not been. I do love God more than I ever have before, and I have made sooooo much progress spiritually in the last 7 months or so. But lately, I have been so worried about when and if I will ever meet a Godly man who will fall in love with me one day, that I lost sight of the goal of pursuing God. I have not wanted a relationship in order to receive attention and affirmation, I have wanted one in order to grow closer to Christ along side someone. But today, I realized that I have a room full of wonderful women that I can grow with. None of them will ever distract me from my journey, and they will all know to some degree what I am going through and vice versa. I have a whole community of Christians to talk about God with, and to grow more in love with him. I am realizing now that being single, and pursuing him with my friends is a much better use of my time than anything else I could be doing. Lesson learned and dually noted God :).

There is a second thing that I learned and loved hearing about today, and that was training myself to be content. This is also something I have been struggling with lately. I get really caught up in the fact that certain people are getting the things that I want. Like attention, or material things, etc. etc. After today I realized that the things that cause me frustration and worry are all earthly. Every time I feel down about myself or my situation, it is because I am calculating and taking note of the earthly desires that are not being met. I realize that that is such a silly thing to spend my time doing! I have gifts, and blessings that make my life beyond amazing. Are my gifts and blessing the same as my peers? No. Is that ok? Absolutely! I really need to keep working on remembering that all of my  earthly desires and frustrations are meaningless and silly in the long run. I need to count the haves, and not the have nots. I have an amazing, almighty, and powerful God. I have loving, amazing friends. I have wonderful and supportive parents. (All of those boil down to healthy and blessed relationships). I have all of my basic needs met, and then some. I have two "fur-babies" that I love dearly and they bring me joy every day. I have a passion and drive to serve the lord and a gift with children which will help me to change lives and do his will. I have so many reasons to smile each day! The most important thing is that I have God, and I do not need anything else. I don't need more money, more friend, and certainly not a relationship. Not now. This is the perfect time in my life for me to focus on God, and to pursue him. I have so many tools to aid in that pursuit at this point, and I have so much time to do so. I have a group of people to learn and grow with. What could possibly be missing to make me have a huge desire for a relationship with a man when I am not even as close as I need to be with my first love? I am striving to be content with everything I am given from this point on. I already feel way better because of it!

....I have no idea what my future holds. And I don't need to know. I know I trust God, and that he will provide and deliver. His plans for me are way better than any plans I could come up with myself, and I have no intention of taking the reigns and doing my own thing due to impatience. How could I not be in love with someone who provides for me, loves me unconditionally, teaches me something new every day, gives me gifts in many different forms, and completes me? How could I be dissatisfied with him and crave more? I don't know, and I won't any more. I'm excited! Things are only going to get better from here! I love my new perspective, and I love my life with Christ. God has so many amazing things planned for me, I have no clue what they are, but I can just feel the joy beauty of my future. It is overwhelming in a good way! So excited, and so loved <3...so in love <3!