Having a Crush= Insanely Frustrating, However, It Doesn't = Sin.

  So, unfortunately I have a crush. I have had one for a while that has switched around between a select few, but this one is extra bad. And, it stinks. A lot. I don't like someone having control over my emotions in the slightest, and I don't like feeling like an idiot when I get giggly and extra girly about it. I also don't like the rejection that comes with a crush. All of that being said, crushes are not so awful. And part of the reason I resent this crush is because I feel like I am betraying God by being even remotely distracted. I also feel mad because depending on how the guy sees me...in this case not all...I get grumpy and negative about it. If I'm not careful I even start thinking it is a reflection of me that this guy doesn't notice me.......the negativity is where the sin lies my friends. God doesn't care that we like people, in fact he created us to want companionship and to eventually be a part of a pair that will glorify him. What God does get sad about is if we let our "crushes" consume our thoughts and actions. Although I have avoided looking too silly, letting the guy know, idolizing him, and being too focused on this one person, I have ended up going the complete opposite and instead I have been consumed with frustration and self defeat. Not only does God not want us to feel anger, but he also doesn't want us to hate on ourselves. We are all beautiful, wonderful creations that he lovingly made. And if we make ourselves miserable and insult ourselves we are insulting his works. By being negative about my silly little crush, not only have I ended up insulting his creation in me, but I have also shown my lack of trust in God in regards to his plans for me.

I am realizing that I need to stop worrying, and start trusting his plans. I need to see myself how he sees me, not how some silly boy who is busy chasing others sees me...or doesn't. (Not that this guy is bad, I wouldn't like him if he was lol!) God has plans for everyone, just because I am not part of one persons plans, doesn't mean there isn't someone else planned for me eventually. I need to relaxxxxx and fight my womanly nature to complete and nurture, until it is the right time. This is a reoccurring problem for me, I have never been known for patience. But, with some prayer and study, I will get myself on the right track, eventually I will stay on it without wavering. I can't help having a crush, and I can't help feeling lonely sometimes, but I can help how much I think about it, and what attitude I have about it. I need to find a happy medium, to where I like being around the kid, but I am not too excited. And, I need to be able to not get angry and negative about myself just because he doesn't notice me. Crushes can be fun if people just don't make a big deal out of them one way or the other. (Easier said than done obviously...). But, if I keep focusing on God, and keep focusing on bettering myself, things will fall into place. It is just a temporary phase, one that I need to stop fighting so much, so that it can take its course, and so that I can move right along instead of prolonging it by beating my self up about it. If any of you are struggling with a similar issue, I encourage you to talk to your friends, study the word, or just pray. Even talk to me if you feel like it. But no matter what know you are not alone in this struggle or similar ones. Hope the helps. God bless!


Here are some songs that help me when I am feeling down about myself and letting earthly desires and influences mess with my self worth:

Here are some verses that also encourage me when I am insecure, un-trusting of my future, lonely, and just down about where I am at.

Jeremiah 29:11  

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 

 

Song of Solomon 4:7 

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. 

1 Peter 3:3-4 

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

Psalm 45:11 

And the king will desire your beauty. Since he is your lord, bow to him. 

 

John 15:18 

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.

 

1 Peter 2:4 

As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious,

Psalm 139:13-14 

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35

1 Corinthians 7:8 

To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.

1 Corinthians 7:26-28 

I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.